Let’s speak out , the friend zone is a social evil that is advancing silently without mercy . It has indiscriminately hit men and women, adults and teenagers, reality and fiction, and the symptoms are different and therefore recognising them is very very difficult.
For those who do not know what the friend zone is, let me enlighten you:
Like exponential diffusion, it is difficult to recognize. This is mainly because the communication between men and women has always been complex, no one has yet managed to encode a language that translates immediately from “female” to “male” and vice versa; communication in writing, as happens more and more often with social media (fb or twitter) or with the old dear sms, whatsapp and email, between the two sexes is risky .
In the era of globalisation, it is increasingly more common to exchange contact details with foreign people and loving mixed relationships are a reality . So, if you imagine communicating in writing in two different languages , I assure you, that is close to “Mission Impossible.”
What happens when the line between flirting and the friend zone is too thin?
Especially if the two languages used are Italian and English, and it is easy to mistakenly say “soup” for “soap.”
If the Italian tends to be misunderstood because they are ‘too open,’ the English can be a real trap.
Personally, I very much like the English language, because it is polite and I like the idea that a boy paying a girl a compliment would never say “I’d have sex with you,” he would say “you look nice”; it is one of the few languages to distinguish between hearing and feeling.
BUT how the hell are you to recognise the friend zone in a language that has three words to say “pazzo” (crazy, insane, and mad), and also three to say “bagno” (bathroom, toilet, water closet) but only ONE to talk about love??? ! !!!
How can they say “I love my shoes” and “I love my wife” and think that it will not create a misunderstanding about the subject???
How do you figure out what an Englishman really means if he writes “I love you”?.
What? If I love you, you are not my friend, you are my lover… whether you are just my friend, maybe, I care about you. It’s completely different!!!
But… let’s take a step back. Because before one person writes “I love you” and the other starts going crazy trying to understand in what way…
…there is also a need to clarify another amazing misunderstanding about the word “friendly”. In English it means literally “as friends,” but the Italians – who tend to be positive – translate this word as meaning “confidential,” meaning 99% that they are starting to flirt.
So, what could happen if, for example, an Italian girl had written to an English guy who wanted to be the “more friendly” and, just for example, he had replied that “friendly is much better”, and she had continued to be always “more more moooore friendly”, realising only 7 emails later that probably, maybe, they meant two different things????
What she should do?
Unluckily, recognising the friend zone is not easy, perhaps we should be more direct to say what we really want and avoid the middle ground like the friend zone.
But since this rarely happens, I want to give three tips for written communication between two people that speak different languages:
- DON’T use Google translate.
It’s only good for emergencies.
If the eyes are the soul’s mirror, Google translate is the Grimilde’s mirror, who, just because it was bored, told her that Snowhite was the most beautiful, and so she started a war; therefore, whatever concept you want to write about, do not use it!
- Rely on songs.
If you know what you want to say but you don’t know how to say it, look for the right song and make it talk for you.
- Keep going until the other person tells you “stop!” This is our one life, time is short, and “in my language this thing means something else” is always a good excuse. So do it.